11:37 - Just another minute on the clock?

Lesson 1: 1137 is just another number and 11:37 is just another minute (or two) on the clock each day

I'm not sure when I started giving special powers to 1137... or 11:37. It was definitely past the point when digital clocks were more popular than analog clocks. You know, those clocks with the faces and the hands and all that.

You see, I grew up at 1137... as did my brother, my mom and her sister. One day, as I looked at the clock, I must have been living away from home by then, I spotted 11:37 and thought, "Ah ha, everything is all fine at the old homestead." And for years and years that, I believed it. And for years and years, it was true. I'd phone my mom almost every single night and almost every single night she'd reaffirm that "We're fine." Me seeing 11:37 on the clock, whether AM or PM, kept my parents safe. Sometimes I'd see the numbers on another house. That made them even more safe! And once I saw those numbers on a license plate. I was crazy positive that all was well at home.

And then one day, things weren't okay. My parents were no longer safe. A little bit of my magical world was torn apart. I'd spotted 11:37 on the clock that morning, as I'd been going about my business. I smiled to myself thinking, "Oh, good, Mom and Dad are safe and well." Several hours later, my dad called me on the phone to tell me that my mom had had a stroke. Huh? Did my lucky number on the clock deceive me? Was seeing it on the clock lucky at all?

I learned on that date, March 6, 2014, that 1137 is just another number, it's just another minute on the clock and it possesses no special powers. Over the next 5+ months, I learned many more things. Some things I learned for the first time. Other times, I learned things that I knew before but that just needed to be reinforced. And yes, there are still many things that I haven't learned. Things that I wonder about. Things that I'll never get the answers to. I learned all these things and developed all these questions during the process of caring for my parents during the final days of their lives. From time to time, I'll share with you what I learned during that time.

Now I'm bogged down with learning about the process of settling an estate... and disassembling long lives, trying to lose the bad stuff and retain all the wonderful stuff. The memories, the family treasures. It's difficult to do all that at the same time. At the same time that I'm grieving. Now I'm learning even more new things day by day. I'm learning lessons that God willing I won't even need again. I mean, it's not like I have another parent who might die and I might ever have to do this again. The stuff I learned from March through August is about nurturing and caring. Mostly it's the warm and fuzzy stuff. The stuff I'm learning about now, not so much so.

Taking care of my parents came naturally to me. I loved my parents. I'm a nurturing person. I did all I that I could to make sure they were comfortable and well cared for. Each and every day. I tried hard to make sure that they knew they were loved. Each and every day. Every day for about 5 months, my dad and I would kiss each other goodnight. He'd look at me and thank me for being there with him, telling me he didn't know what he'd do without me. I knew I'd done a good job doing what needed to be done each and every day, until the day he didn't seem to know I was there. Then, a few days later, he was gone.

This estate stuff does not come naturally to me. It's confusing, overwhelming and fully charged. It seems so important to do everything right. To dot my "i"s and cross my "t"s. Day after day of researching and consulting and trying to figure things out, I'm still confused. I have no one there to thank me for doing what I've done. To say that they don't know what they'd do without me. No one to even hint that I might have done a good job. Such a thankless task. I'm still grieving - and this business is way too much sometimes.

I hope to share some of the lessons I learn along the way... and when I have nothing to share from the present, I'll share with you some of the things I learned during the 5 months of caring for my parents. Those are the really important lessons I'll need to carry with me anyway, through life once the estate is settled and the assets are distributed. Life lessons learned. Beginning with 1137 is just another number.